Dear You,

I’m thinking of taking these pills and kissing my animals good bye and letting my family come home to a cold body and letting them tell my friends and going to some place that is so much better than this. I’m thinking of sending you a quick message to tell you how much you’re going to change the world and how I’ll be looking down on you smiling.

Someone once told me that I was more than what I was going through. And I think it’s bullshit. I think it’s complete utter bullshit and I want you to know before I do kill myself, that you are exactly what you’re going through. You are those problems and those solutions and those struggles and those fucking substances you use and the food you don’t eat and the eyes you choose to not see through.

No words can explain how much I want to kill myself. Nothing can even describe how heavenly that sounds at the moment and I know you think you understand, but you don’t. You know nothing because everything is always changing and people are always leaving and life is running when I can’t even pull myself up. So stop telling me it gets better. Stop telling me that I’m strong or whatever. It’s all fucking bullshit and I hate it. I hate being alive. I hope I get hit by a semi tomorrow.

Love,

Me

Dear You,

I hope I something causes my death soon. I can’t do this anymore and I’m too tired to kill myself.

Love,

Me

We might die from medication but we sure killed off the pain.

Dear You,

I can’t sleep. I can’t write. I can’t eat. I can’t love. I’m not even real anymore.

Love,

Me

Dear You,

I think I am in love with everyone and that scares me.

Love,

Me

I forgive you.

Dear You,

An online relationship meeting for the first time is like meeting your best friend after being apart for twenty years.

Love,

Me

Dear You,

Your laughter is a symphony gliding through my pores on heated skin that I wish for only you to kiss. You are the air circulating through my lungs, polluting my body with love. All I want to taste is your skin and all I want to feel is your voice rejuvenating my bones.

I want to make passionate love to you and read Sylvia Plath afterwards with a cup of tea. I want to feel you envelop me through me like sunny days. But you are every sun to me and every moon too. I wish you were here with me. An ocean won’t keep us apart. Never.

Love,

Me

Dear You,

You told me you cared. And I believed you. I don’t know who to blame.

Love,

Me

Dear You,

I dream of you, and I wake up sad. I can’t get you out of my head, and it makes me mad.

Love,

Me

Dear You,

I miss everyone all the time but I hate everyone too and I can’t understand how that could be since I really don’t have anyone close enough to miss or hate.

Love,

Me

Dear You,

When you loved me, I loved you. When you stopped, I still loved you. When you ignored me, I still loved you. When you left, I still loved you. And when you won’t come back, I will love you. And when I start to hate you, you’ll know how much I loved you.

Love,

Me

Dear You,

I feel like a slut. I keep sleeping with boys and today I found out that one of them is married. And I miss innocence. And that’s all I can say.

Love,

Me

Dear You,

I look brand new. I know. I feel so old though.

Love,

Me

Dear You,

I don’t know what to say anymore.

Love,

Me